Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy

I must admit, when I think of Jenny McCarthy, my mind goes back to her MTV days. I pride myself on the fact that I grew up on MTV during the 80's but was sad to learn via wikipedia that McCarthy's MTV heydays were in the mid to late 90's. Did I really watch MTV THAT LONG?!? Or maybe I'm romanticizing the whole 80's era...maybe it was more 90's watching I did. But that's not as cool in my opinion. Does this make sense to ANYONE?

Anyway, the second thing that comes to mind is that Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carey were an item. Not really a big fan of either, whose faces and personas seem like caricatures more than real, interesting, complex people. What must the sex between the two have been like? I can only imagine Jim Carey ala Cable Guy, "free cable is the ultimate aphrodesiac, Jenny" (insert contorted facial expression here - met with McCarthy's over the top exaggerated O face here).

But I suppose McCarthy is a comedian of sorts. So maybe her book about her pregnancy (with now ex-husband John Asher) would provide some comic relief, if not insights into the glories of being knocked up. Each chapter is an anecdote on some kind of pregnancy symptom, like nausea, constipation, gas, you name it. Thankfully for the book, McCarthy had a HORRIBLE pregnancy in terms of experiencing the widest range of unpleasant side effects you could pick up at the pregnancy symptom buffet. Thankfully for me, she keeps each "chapter" short, to only a few pages (although I'll give her arguable status as a comedian, I won't go so far as to say she's a talented writer).

But, as a pregnant lady myself, the book was entertaining, and a quick read. At the very least, it made me feel triumphant in my own pregnancy since I've been pretty symptom free so far (knock on wood). And her saving grace? That glorious picture of her on the cover! May all pregnant women at least feel as good as she looks at some point in their pregnancy. If you believe her book, that's all she had going for her during that time in her life!

Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl (CBR book #31)

If you're into Twilight or other angsty teenage supernatural type books, then you'll probably dig Beautiful Creatures. Now that I've mentioned Twilight, some of you die-hard fans (I am not one of them) might want to know which is better...honestly, I'm not sure. I think Twilight fans would still prefer the Twilight books to Beautiful Creatures, but with three books already in the series, Beautiful Creatures may be worth a deeper look.

Okay, now I'm talking to normal people. This book is along the lines of the Twilight series so...possibly an entertaining, brainless read with a cup of annoying and over dramatic mixed in.

Basically, Beautiful Creatures takes place in the small town of Gatlin, South Carolina, where the civil war is still the biggest news of the day. Ethan Wate, a sophomore in high school, has his friends and basketball team. But then Lena Duchannes comes to town. The niece of the town's mysterious recluse, Lena's welcome in Gatlin is anything but. Ethan, however, is strangely drawn to Lena. Haunted by a recurring dream, Lena seems to be the clue to Ethan understanding it. As their friendship develops, Ethan learns more and more about Lena's family and all of its supernatural secrets.

I think this story focuses more on the relationship between Ethan and Lena (read: a love story) as opposed to really exploring and understanding Lena's supernatural world. In that sense, I found the book lacking. I love being immersed in new worlds but the perspective is Ethan's, so you feel just as in the dark as he does about all the interesting things Lena is privy to. Of course, things are slowly revealed throughout the book, but I still had a lot of questions and wanted to know more. I suppose that's the point of a series though, isn't it? Perhaps I'll read the second book to discover more. But I'm not sure the first book entranced me enough to go to the trouble.

Zarqawi's Ice Cream by Andrew Goldsmith

I had a war kick a couple years ago where I read books written about an Army Ranger, a Navy Seal, and reconnaissance Marines. So it was a no brainer that I might be interested in hearing about Army infantry soldiers. Whether or not you agree with the US involvement in countries like Iraq and Afghanistan, you have to admit that those who have served overseas have some pretty knarly stories to tell.

Zarqawi's Ice Cream is a collection of stories, impressions, and memories of Goldsmith's time in the Army, and specifically, Iraq. This book is written differently from the others I had read. Although each book has a distinct voice and personality, Goldsmith's quasi stream of consciousness style definitely stands out. Although I'm not sure if I like it or not, it definitely gives his story telling an interesting style. Rather than a straight out narrative, "Hi, I'm Andrew and this is my story..." Goldsmith journals each chapter independently. There is a loose connection from chapter to chapter, but each really is its own story. He has an artful way of conveying his message, even if he IS talking about something gritty or even disturbing. The downfall, however, is that I didn't feel a real connection to Goldsmith or the other people he writes about. He seems detached from the narratives, and it made me feel a bit detached to the book as a whole.

So while I feel like the book is well-written, it's not my favorite military read.

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll (CBR Book #30)

I'd seen the Disney cartoon, the Johnny Depp version, and a creepier version on TV back when I was younger...so I thought it appropriate to pick up the actual book and experience Lewis Carroll firsthand.

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland was written by Carroll (a pseudonym for Charles Lutwidge Dodgson) in 1865. Apparently Carroll was a man of many hats (author, poet, mathematician, logician...is that a word?). And this book showcases all of these hats, although with characters like the mad hatter wearing them, things get a bit...strange. Apparently, according to wikipedia, and I'm sure a host of other web sites, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland is rife with literary allusions and symbolism. But it was all lost on me. I suppose this book would be more interesting studied and picked apart in an academic setting than just as a summer read. Because as the latter, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But I guess that's the point, since Carroll specializes in the literary nonsense genre (didn't make that up).

Alice's story begins in her garden, where she finds a rabbit hole and falls down into a fantasy world. Each chapter is a new adventure in Wonderland, with new characters and silly situations. A lot of what happens in the book reminds me of a dream. Events are random, don't make a whole lot of sense, and crazy seems to be the norm. I won't go into details about the story itself...I think most of you are familiar with Alice in Wonderland in one way or another. I'll just skip to my impressions. Unfortunately, I didn't enjoy the book as much as I had hoped. In fact, it took me awhile to read - I'd pick it up between reading other books. As silly as the story is, I didn't find myself that interested in it. I guess a lot of the humor and irony was over my head.

Would I recommend it? Not for a casual read. And definitely not as a children's book. I think of all the versions I've seen, the one that I liked the most was the 1985 Alice in Wonderland movie which also included a sequel, Through the Looking Glass. I just remember they were creepy as all hell and Through the Looking Glass featured one of my favorite poems, Jabberwocky (also written by Carroll). Of course, I was only 6 when the first movie came out, so it's probably cheesier than a can of whiz. But given the source material, I can't really say it's too far off base.

The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly (CBR book #29)

Fairy tales are everywhere. I just got back from Disneyworld where Cinderella Castle stands prominently at center stage. And of course there's the classic Disney ride, Snow White's Scary Adventures (although I heard the Magic Kingdom in Florida is axing Snow White in a year or two. How sad.).

There is also a more modern emergence of fairly tales on network TV. Shows like Grimm and Once Upon a Time peaked my interest, until I started watching them.

So it makes sense that I turned my attention to a different, and more traditional genre for my fairy tale fix, books. The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly was written in 2006 and is a departure for the author, who normally writes thriller novels. I've read mixed reviews about his experiment and must say, I agree to some extent with everyone.

Our story takes place during WWII in London. David's mother has died. His father remarries a woman named Rose, and the three move into Rose's family home. Soon after, Rose gives birth to a son. As David feels more and more isolated and forgotten, his grip on reality slowly slips. He suffers seizures, hears books whispering to him, and begins seeing The Crooked Man. One night, he hears his mother calling to him, and David follows her voice to a sunken garden. As the war rages around him, a German bomber plane goes down, heading for the garden. David hides in a crack in the garden, where is he transported to another world.

In this new world, David begins a quest to find the king, whose Book of Lost Things may hold the key to David's return home. Along the way, David quickly learns he is in a land where fairy tales are real. But unlike the the sanitized versions Disney would offer, Connolly's version of our favorite stories is more along the lines of the inspiration followed by the Brother's Grimm. The stories Connolly tells through David's adventures deal with issues like bestiality, homosexuality, and murder for sport, to name a few. And they involve familiar characters like Red Riding Hood, Snow White, Rumplestiltskin, and some new ones as well.

So why the mixed reviews? My biggest issue with the book is that there is something in the way Connolly writes that makes The Book of Lost Things seem like a young adult book. Maybe it's his writing style. Maybe it's the fact that the main character is a twelve year old boy...I can't really place my finger on it. But the stories Connolly tells are more suited for an adult audience. There is overt sexuality and violence that wouldn't have shocked me as much, had I not felt like the book was a YA novel. I was confused by the two voices which clashed, rather than blended.

With that said, it's a damn interesting book. A little slow in the beginning, but a great fantasy novel. And I'm a sucker for good endings. I can forgive a lot in a book if the ending is satisfying, and this one delivered for me.

So if you like fairy tales, fantasy stories, and a bit of the macabre, it's a recommend. Oooh, and while we're on the subject...despite Disney's abandonment of her, Snow White lives on in theaters next year. I can't wait to see the two versions coming out! Click here for the trailer of Snow White and the Huntsman with Charlize Theron, Kristen Stewart, and Chris Hemsworth. And the trailer for the campier looking Mirror Mirror with Julia Roberts is here.

A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin (CBR Book #28)

This is the second book of the Song of Fire and Ice series written by Martin. You really can't just jump into these books without starting at the beginning, so I'll assume you've read the first book already.

Martin picks up where he left off after book one, and he takes off running. The book is basically in the same format as the first, with a few new voices added in. Basically there are several men and a few boys fighting to be king. Namely Robb Stark from Winterfell, the heir apparent Joffrey Baratheon, and two of Robert Baratheon's brothers. In addition, Theon Greyjoy, Eddard Stark's ward, decides to throw his name in the hat and fight for his father's honor.

In addition to the wars and battles in the south, Jon Snow has traveled north of the wall to find his missing uncle. Although his story doesn't intersect with the main plot line, I hear it will by book three. Honestly, I was a bit bored by Jon Snow's chapters.

Of course, we can't forget Dany, in the East. Her story was my favorite from book I, but it slowed down considerably in the second book. She is still trying to build an army and secure ships for her return.

Overall, I think I liked book I better than book II, but I enjoyed both. I think the biggest obstacle in reading these books is the sheer length. At 969 pages, A Clash of Kings took me awhile to read. And I can't help but think I could have read 3 or four other books in that time. So while I may eventually read all the books in the series (there are seven planned), I might have to take a break for awhile and catch up on some of my other books.

Kind of a luke-warm review, I know. But if you've read their first book, I have a feeling you've already decided for yourself if you're going to keep going or not.

The Dark Tower I: The Gunslinger by Stephen King (CBR book #27)

I have to make a confession...I'm not a Stephen King fan. I've tried reading a couple of his books (The Tommyknockers and IT) and couldn't get through them. Disappointingly, it's not because I'm a huge wimp and am just too terrified by his books. It's because I find them so BOOOOORING. Go ahead, feel free to mentally flog me if you disagree.

So now you're probably waiting for me to say how I've read The Dark Tower and I'm a changed women...sorry to disappoint again. But at least I got through the entire book!

In case you're still reading this review, The Dark Tower books are a 7 book series (with an eighth related short story as well). The series revolves around Roland, a gunslinger. The books are a kind of sci-fi western where the time and place are a bit vague. Things seem primitive at times, but then things seem other-worldly and even magical at times. Roland is pursuing a man in black and is also on a quest for the dark tower. You'd think I'd have another reference for "man in black" besides THE Mr. Cash after reading this book, but alas, I have no idea who he is in Mr. King's eye. And the dark tower? Not a clue.

I don't know if it's just that King gives more information than I'm retaining and I'm just too bored to absorb it. Or if he just likes to leave mystery and unanswered questions in his books so that you slowly...slooooowly learn bit by bit what the hell is going on after reading all of the books. But I really can't tell you what The Gunslinger is about. I know there's Roland, there's a kid from another time and place, and there's an underground cave with scary creatures, and there's a lot of wandering.

So...I think I'm done with this review. It's just going downhill. I warned you. Not a fan. Why'd I'd read the book then? A friend gave it to me so I thought I'd give it a shot. Oh well.

Hmmm...maybe I can offer you a consolation prize. I read Stephen King's Bag of Bones last year and it wasn't half bad. Just a good old fashioned ghost story. No giant spiders or aliens or anything silly like that. Read that one instead.