The September House by Carissa Orlando

 

Have you seen the show Ghosts? It's a campy sitcom about a woman who sees ghosts in her house and has learned to live with them. This is kinda like that, but a lot more macabre, and a lot more funny!

If it isn't bad enough to live in a haunted house, try living in this haunted house in September! The ghosts act up more than usual, the walls bleed profusely, and forget about sleeping, with all the moaning and screaming. But Margaret is resigned to this. She's learned to adapt, ignore, and tolerate all the goings on. She's tried the usual remedies: priests, microfiche research, ouija boards, digging up bones, and more. But eventually things go back to the way they were, and of course, there's always September.

Take Elias, for example. The boy who doesn't speak but howls, and bites if you get too close. Margaret has learned to just treat him like a plant, narrating her life around him, while expecting no response in return. And it works! Unless she gets too close of course, but shame on her for crossing his boundaries. Margaret understands that if she follows the rules, bites will be kept to a minimum. 

In this way she has managed to figure out what triggers each ghost. If you don't want the upstairs bedroom ghosts to crawl out of the fireplace, don't start a fire! Easy! And sometimes avoidance is best, which is the case for Master Vale, who lives in the basement. The Bible pages attached to the back of the door seem to be doing the trick, as long as the door stays boarded up. 

By playing by the rules, Margaret has learned to coexist in this crowded house. But her husband, Hal, isn't quite as understanding and leaves. And this is news that she can only hide from her daughter, Katherine, for so long. Eventually, Katherine insists on a visit to figure out where Hal went. Unfortunately for Margaret, this is in the middle of September, when even the best behaved ghosts find themselves relieving their anxiety by rearranging the furniture a la poltergeist style:

Unfortunately, this also means the door to the basement has to get unboarded, in order to avoid more questions about what's...down there. 

What's great about this book is how a lot of what goes on can have an alternate meaning to an outside observer: Frederika, the helpful (dead) housekeeper, likes to make tea for Margaret. But all Katherine knows is that the stove is on and left unattended constantly. Or Katherine will catch Margaret talking, seemingly to herself. And signs that Margaret sees as other worldy messages are seen as meaningless noise by Katherine, who grows increasingly worried for her mother as she observes more and more bizarre behavior.

Just like the plot of a typical sitcom - misunderstanding abounds and hilarity ensues, with a touch of horror mixed in. This is a great read that will keep you entertained the entire time.

Upgrade by Blake Crouch

GENE EDITING IS A FEDERAL CRIME #GPA

ONE MISTAKE CAUSED THE GREAT STARVATION #GPA #NEVERFORGET

These are billboards you would pass if you lived in Denver Colorado in the far enough future that gene editing technology is much further advanced, but not so far that hashtags aren't still a thing.

The benefits to this technology include clothes made with spider silk and improvements in medicine and agriculture. But there is also a darker side, where dolls can be wrapped in human muscle and skin and wasps can be modified to target people based on their genetic fingerprints. And even the best of intentions can take a turn for the worse, which is what happened when Logan Ramsey's mother genetically modified locusts in an effort to improve crops against blight. But mutations started knocking out genes essential for seed production which caused the death of 200 million people. Ramsey's mother commit suicide and Ramsey himself went to prison, but eventually won a pardon with the help of the ACLU. 

Upgrade begins after all of this. Ramsey is out of prison and reluctantly working for the GPA, or Gene Protection Agency, which looks for scientists engaging in gene modification, which is now outlawed. His job consists of looking for plasmids on the pages of books, raiding gene labs, and arresting brilliant scientists who, once in the running for nobel prizes, are now traitorous villains. He was The Man, working for an agency with questionable tactics.

While raiding a suspected lab, Ramsey is struck by a bio bomb. After the incident, he begins to notice...improvements. They are subtle at first, like when Ramsey finds he is able to beat his daughter in chess. Then he notices he can recall books with photo clarity and remembers conversations from years ago. He has improved focus, concentration, intuition, and can multi-task without defaulting to autopilot.  Physically, his body improves as well - his bones get denser, his muscles leaner and larger, he has higher pain tolerance and resistance against various diseases. But, while the upgrade Ramsey has received seems good, he doesn't know who is responsible or why. And when he finds himself held in a black sight by his employer and later broken out by a mysterious, and seemingly equally upgraded fighter, Ramsey knows he is involved in a much deeper endeavor. 

Crouch writes an easy read that tackles questions like climate change and the dark side of technology. Existential questions like how much damage can be done to help the greater good underlie his futuristic thrill. He also has an interesting take on how isolated Ramsey becomes as the result of his enhancements. The story moves along at a good pace, but is a bit over the top with some of the abilities Ramsey develops. It's a interesting premise and kept me reading, but you may have to push the "I want to believe" button a time or two.    

The Last House on Needless Street by Catriona Ward

This was a quick, fulfilling read and based on it, it makes me want to read Catriona Ward’s other novels. The House on Needless Street is her most recent, published in 2021. It’s one of those books that you're better off going into blind, which kinda makes for a tough review, but I'll do my best. Suffice to say, there's a murder and the story revolves around it. It's a story told from multiple viewpoints, including a cat's. And I have to tell you, when it comes to the cat, I am here for it.

The story centers around Ted Bannerman, a man haunted by his past, his mother, and little green men in the attic. Ted lives with his Cat, Olivia, and their daily monotony is broken up by occasional visits from Ted's daughter, Lauren. There is clearly a dysfunctional dynamic between Ted and Lauren, who have a love/hate relationship with each other. And while I'm not sure dysfunctional is the first word I'd use to describe Ted's relationship with Olivia, the fact that she talks (at least to us) and quotes the Bible isn't normal. And when Lauren isn't visiting and Olivia isn't doting in Ted, there are occasional visits from Ted's deceased mother. 

Ward's tale is a cross between horror, mystery, thriller, and ghost story. Her characters aren't particularly likeable (except maybe the cat), but I found myself wanting to keep reading to figure out what the hell was going on. It's an exploration of how horrors like abuse and murder damage our psyche and invade our mind - how the ghosts of the past continue to haunt and manifest themselves well after the dust settles. At its heart, it's a story of how people deal with pain and trauma, and Ward does it in a captivating way.

Lock Every Door by Riley Sager

It's been a year since I've completed a book (not including ones I've read with my 7-year old). An embarassingly adult book-free year. I've started a few, but either wasn't interested enough to finish them (I'm looking at you Crazy Rich Asians), or, really, just not interested enough to start any new ones either.

But I'm happy to announce my dry spell is over and Lock Every Door is the book to quench my thirst. This is the third book by Author Riley Sager, which is a pseudonym for journalist Todd Ritter.

On a side note, while not an entirely new phenomenon (as it's not uncommon with romance novelists apparently), in an article for the Atlantic, Sophie Gilbert explores the relatively increasing number of men using female or androgynous pseudonyms in the thriller novel genre. The Guardian also has an article about this for the curious, which also delves into the apparent phenomenon of the appeal of violent books to women.

But it makes me wonder if I would have even noticed if the book said Todd Ritter instead of Riley Sager, or if Gone Girl would have been just as popular if it had a male author attached to it? Would a reading of Lock Every Door be different for me if I scrutinized the female protagonist's perspective, knowing it's written by a man?

In all honestly, though, I didn't notice. Which I guess is what Sager wants, right? At least I didn't have any of those eye-rolling moments like I did while reading Michael Bussi's book. That man is seriously obsessed with boobs.

But back to Lock Every Door, which was an easy and quick read. And, while I'm not sure it's going to be the best book I read this year, I'm intrigued enough that I'd check out his other books. 

His story is a modern mystery about Jules who is down on her luck and looking for something to jump start her stalled life. When a paid apartment sitter job in a historic, posh, New York building opens up, it seems too good to be true. But newly jobless, boyfriendless, and basically homeless, Jules makes the obvious choice. What follows is part mystery, part thriller, and part suspense as we follow Jules' journey to understand if the Barthalomew is truly infamous or unfairly suffers from a bad reputation.

While I guessed one twist, the book ended up turning well beyond that. Ultimately, I was satisfied with the ending, as well as the book's execution. It was a good choice to pull me out of my shell and get me reading again.

If you like the book, Paramount TV has put Lock Every Door into development. I could see this going either way, we'll have to see.

Follow You Home by Mark Edwards

I birthed a little person recently. So reading is about as much a priority as wearing a shirt right now. However, I have a lot of "down" time in the form of rocking and feeding said little person. So a free book on my Kindle was in order. Enter Follow You Home. It was on my Kindle. It was free. I didn't have to wear a shirt. Done.

I got through this book in two days, which is record time for me. I don't know if that says more about the book or more about the amount of feeding and rocking I was doing in those two days. This psychological thriller is about two young travelers, Daniel and Laura, who are experiencing Europe, until they get to the scary, sinister part of Europe (that would be the eastern bit). There (in Romania), they experience the Thing That Must Not Be Spoken Of and quickly end their trip.

Back home in London, Daniel and Laura try to go about their daily lives. But their once close relationship dissolves as each spirals into their own living hell in trying to deal with What Happened.  As Daniel tries to get over the loss of Laura, he experiences strange things, things he can't help but wonder might be connected to the fateful trip. Meanwhile, Laura not only withdraws from Daniel, but her grasp on reality seems to be slipping away.

Two stories in one, Edwards slowly reveals what happened to Daniel and Laura in Romania while simultaneously unfolding the resulting horror they both encounter back home. He keeps you guessing, is it something supernatural? Is it something depraved? Something real? Something imagined? And he unfolds both stories in such a way that there were times (usually in the middle of the night) where I was too creeped out to read (and I still got done in two days!).

Overall, this book was a great package. It was quick, captivating, and a bit scary. I'd be interested to read more of Edwards' other thrillers, shirt or not.